Connect

In 2019, I pursued connection. 

The interesting thing about choosing a word instead of a traditional New Year’s resolution is the absence of absolute success or failure. At the end of 2019, I couldn’t say I had completely succeeded in my endeavor to connect. Sometimes, I failed at connection...in small ways and in big ways. I let myself sit in the corner without interacting with anyone. I made people I love feel forgotten. I battled with comparing my new connections with decade long connections. I let my fear and insecurity and doubts win. However, I also succeeded. I sat across the table with new friends and old friends and soul-kitting friends. I let people hear the stories I tell myself, the whispered fears, and the opinions I hold. I chose to be seen. And through it all (the “failures” and the “successes”) I found connection. 

During this process I compiled a list of moments when I felt connection. I imagined this list would be full of epic memories and grand gestures of connection...but in reality it is filled with small, ordinary moments. Moments that would be easy to overlook, but held such sacred space in my heart. The list consisted of conversations over cups of coffee and standing in the parking lot after church and eating dinner around the kitchen island and cozying up on the couch and taking walks in the summer and baking dozens of scones and lots of Marco Polos. So this is my 2019--my year of connection--these are the small moments and the big moments...the successes and the failures...and most importantly, the faces of connection!